How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
