and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
