it hurts more in the daytime
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
