Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
