is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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