We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
