I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I deserve this hangover.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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