I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
