Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
