We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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