Sry I called you an 8
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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