I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
