I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
