Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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