I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
