If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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