On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
