you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
