I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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