I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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