The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
