"it" just moved
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
