I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
