quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
babies were throwing up all over the place
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Terrible idea I love it
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
