Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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