she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
