ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
