I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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