If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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