so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
