We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
