i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
