I think I died a long time ago.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize