I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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