In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
