I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
