umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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