shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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