Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
