It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
