I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
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