i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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