New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
