Sponge bath it is.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
