mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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