so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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