so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
