I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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