I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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