Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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