Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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