I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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