Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
