i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I am one with the molecules
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
