Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
