I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
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weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
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I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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