Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize